Our lives are continually evolving, changing, progressing, taking steps that seem backwards and flying forward at breakneck speed. We may be searching for an answer before we are ready to hear it in our mind. We’ve gone ahead and left ourselves behind. Sometimes we have to catch up with ourselves.
Think of moving the contents of our apartment or home from one place to another. We have packed furiously, found all sorts of items we no longer need, and some lost things as well. We want desperately to be settled in our new space. Moving day arrives. We want to know what it will be like living at our new place, but we have so much to unpack. The answer can’t be ready to show its face until we live there for a while. We have to settle in to ourselves and our new environment. It takes time.
We can’t have the answer to how sobriety will feel until we put down the last drink. Even then, our feelings may be so raw, our craving so difficult, that we can’t possibly know how sobriety will feel. It’s like that wise old proverb: When the student is ready the teacher will appear.
We may not be ready to hear the answer. We may not not want to hear it. Perhaps we’ll never find an answer that will satisfy us. Why did I: get fired, become addicted to drugs, swear at my mother, yell at the kids, put my fist through the window, end up in a homeless shelter, flunk out of college, give my dog away? While it can be important to find reasons and answers, for the things we’ve done, our search can be hard and painful. Truths can hurt.
It is important for us to keep our early days, weeks and months of sobriety simple, so as not to be flooded with memories and answers we’re not prepared to handle. It’s like coming home from getting a cast off our foot and wanting to go for a run. We first have to heal from the injury caused by addiction. Close over the wound, let a scab form and harden. Then perhaps, with the help of a trusted therapist and a commitment to sobriety, we can find the answers and move on.
If you or a loved one struggles with addiction, get help now. Nexus Recovery Services specializes in addiction treatment and encompasses holistic therapy for the mind, body, and soul with a focus on staying active and connected to nature. Our mission is to provide tools and support for every client’s seamless transition into a meaningful and fulfilling life of sobriety. We offer a free and confidential consultation. Call us to get started:(310) 881-9151